it snows nine months of the year and hails the other three

Went with Dad to run the dogs tonight after I got home from work. Mape came too, even though he doesn't need to practice like Toby and Molly, who are hunters, do. But it's nice for him to get out of the yard and he really likes it.

Anyway, it was pretty cold, about 28 degrees. Not a lot of wind like there was earlier, and anyway, when we're not hunting we run them in this field near our house that's surrounded by trees. There was still snow on the ground, and it was dark, but there was a pale moon and some ambient light. Some light clouds, but not a lot.

And so we were running them, and Dad looked up and said, "Wow! Look at the ring around the moon!"

There was, as Dad so aptly put it, a ring around the moon. It wasn't close to the moon--it was a big ring, but it had this beauty to it, like it was an orbit. It seemed perfectly round, and the moon was full or nearly full, and it was one of the beautiful things I've ever seen. I wished I had my camera so I could have taken a picture of it. It was so cool.

And then it made me think of that old slogan--"Ring around the moon, rain coming soon." Which is odd, because the forecast says sun for the next few days...

We'll have to see which wins out.

Anyway, that's the news for today.

nebulia out.

Christmas Eve.

47 degrees Fahrenheit.

NOT COOL.

I am angry.

Other than that, it's been a pleasant Christmas Eve. Quiet, calm, Mom and Dad and I and the dogs (they really are soooo cute) went out to Walnut Woods to play, and we've just hung out since. It's been really nice.

We tried to get Toby and Molly to fetch, which was funny. Mape hates playing fetch, but Gracie loved it--she did it naturally. Toby and Molly might be brittanys, and they certainly figure out the hunting thing pretty easily (boy, and am I sore from shooting the 12-gauge yesterday!), but they certainly don't get fetch yet. *sigh* It was pretty funny to watch them though--they sure are cute!

But it's supposed to be cold and snowy, dammit!

Fortunately, it's supposed to snow (light, not-sticky, yuck snow, but snow nonetheless) tomorrow.

Anne Murray is singing her Adeste Fideles on the radio and her Latin translation is horrible. Adora-ay-mus? Oh, please. Someone put her out of her misery.

nebulia out.

Conference meet last night.

Crappy.

It was in Ft. Dodge--2 hours away--and at first we thought it was gonna be 6 hours long (that's not bad, but it started at 5, which put us home at 1). But it ended up only lasting about 4, so it was okay. We were home around 11:15, so that was all good. Though I was exhausted on 5 hours of sleep and a scrappy night.

Added 8 seconds to my 500.

But the 100 breast was the worst part of the night, and possibly made yesterday one of the worst days of my life.

Turns out, at the coach's meeting before the meet, they revised the lineup in the 100 breats 'cause they added one girl who was faster than me. So, instead of being in heat 3 lane 8, I was changed to heat 2, lane 4.

Of course, though, they don't give a revised lineup to the swimmers, or the timers, just the coaches. Now, the timerrs are God. The timers should have the most updates lineups, because we, as the swimmers, listen to the timers. Not the announcer, and out coaches aren't necessarily contacting us while we're on the block.

So, when my name is announced, it's s huge shock. Actually, I wasn't paying attention, nor were any of my frineds, because I was a) too busy getting ready for my race, and b) I was confident in the fact that the lineup said I was in heat 3, lane 8, because that was what the timers had.

So all of a sudden, I was being yelled at to get up on the blocks, by my parents and the coaches.

This sudden shock, and some embarrassment, the frustration of my crappy 500 (and the consequential urge to do really well here), and surfing the crimson tide had me tearing up right then.

So all of my friends, you know, Frenchie, GermanPickle, N2T, and a few others are back there, and so they follow me. But just as the guy says take your mark (while I'm still putting on my goggles), they start yelling, "Step down! Step down!" because my name isn't on the timer's sheet.

Of course, as soon as I do that, the coaches are all, "What are you doing?" and I just start sobbing.

As an aside, I hadn't cried like that for a looooooonng time, and I'd never cried like that in public.

So I'm trying not to cry and consequentially hyperventilating, and the coaches are trying to fix it and "it's not your faulting"-me and I'm all, "I don't want an excpetion made 'cause I messed up," and the coaches and Frenchie and GP are all, "But you didn't mess up!" (though I did, a little--I should have been paying attention) and then Head Coach comes over and says, "You're in the next heat. Lane one."

The next heat is the first varsity heat. I was all, "No way."

But Frenchie convinced me to swim, and I did, and I got a 1.32.70-something, and when I finished I started crying all over again.

So the other assistant coach comforted me then (even though I was all wet and she wasn't), and then Frenchie, and then flutist...

And then I had to go and swim the 100 free in the 4x1.

It wasn't the swimming, so much, as a) the humiliation of swimming in a varsity heat when i'm obviously not in varsity, and then the b) humiliation of crying long and hard in public. I mean...it's just embarrassing, you know? You don't like to cry in public. You either get sympathy and all the attention, or you get laughed at. And when I'm crying, I just need someone to sob to, even if they haven't a clue what I'm saying, and that's it. I don't like crying in public.

So yeah. A crappy night.

I was cheering, and trying not to cry and making those gaspy,, sobby, throaty sounds in your throat is really bad for your voice, I learned, and I was already losing my voice, so now I have no voice. But it's a cold--a deep chest cold where I'm coughing up little fuzzy yellow things. And MBF was gone from school today, and she has the same thing, and told me I should go see the doctor, because she had to get a prescription medication for it.

Crap.

but I got Anneliese back, and that almost makes everything okay, you know?

And the conference meet was still fun, in a weird way. It's kind of hard to explain; but, when I wasn't feeling crappy we were telling jokes and swapping dog stories (the dogs are getting REALLY funny, btw, Toby drinks out of our fountain by standing on his hind legs, and Molly gets on the couch, and they both can get on the couches now and they're so silly, but they come when they're called so they're getting better.).

Today we moved creative writing class into the new wing, and I had to carry this giant life-size cactus. I named it Ambrosius and and going to talk to it every day in class now.

and I have anneleise back! Yay!

quote of the post: "remember bob. just remember bob." frenchie has decided that the joke "what do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? bob." fixes everything.

nebulia out.

I love going to apple orchards. We went to one today. It was just...it's this wonderful fall tradition, and everything smells good and somehow it's always sunny and the wind blows just slightly and going to an apple orchard is just wonderful, really. We got cider and creamed honey and cheese and pumpkins, and Dad and I are gonna carve a jock-o-lantern, and I'm like a little kid right now, really I am.

We also went on the last boat ride of the year, Maman and Dad and Mape and I, and listened to A Prairie Home Comapnion, which was excellent as always. Mape let me use him as a pillow and he was nice and warm, because by that time, it was evening and cooling off. And he was silly and cuddly and huge as always. Overall, it was a lovely, lazy day, and even though it was in the 70s, it just screamed of autumn. I love fall. Love love love!

However, I went to take a nap on my hammock and when I laid down, I fell right through. It had rotted in some recent rain. *sad face* I took a nap inside instead.

I went to Borders and Best Buy this morning too, and bough Azumanga Daioh (love!) and Samurai 7 volume three. And Angel Santuary 16. Yay! It's amazing, all of it.

anneleise still down.

nebulia out.

We've taken to giving Toby and Molly treats when they get into their kennel. So the first thing they've learned is when we say "Kennel up!" they're to go to their kennel and readily await a treat.

Funnily enough, Mape does the same thing, since we've taken to giving him a treat, too, so he doesn't feel left out. Though he doesn't actually attempt to get in the kennel; he's too big to fit in it by himself, let alone with two other dogs.

And they say you can't an old dog new tricks.

Ye gods, it's October!

nebulia out.

Toby and Molly smell sweet and earthy, like a barn, only dog-ish instead of horse-ish. They're so warm and when they're half-asleep they curl up against you and bury their face under your arm, and it's like you've got this little ball of heat, a tiny sun, tucked against you, moving slightly with every breath, lulling and calming.

Oh, they're so cute!

Got my back adjusted at Le Chiropractor yesterday. It feels amazing, though I'm a little sore.

Dryland yesterday, too. Upped most of my weights and I can notice. Except for benching, which I'm used to now. Creepy that last week at this time I was in pain from it.

Right now, what really hurts are my shoulders--my deltoids, if you want to be technical. They're sore...and tense, but mostly sore, and I can feel it. And it's nasty.

In other news...Toby peed on the floor last night, and Maman took him out, and then Dad came out so Maman could go inside and fold clothes. And she cried.

I think a lot of it was tears of frustration, but Maman crying is like...unheard of. She cries over Granny, and sometimes Gracie, and at the end of The Empire Strikes Back, but not just randomly, and the fact that that was what she was doing--crying randomly, though Dad was admittedly being a bastard tonight--was really terrifying. So, if anyone's reading this, have a prayer/good thought/happy vibes for my mother, please.

quote of the post: "and the taste of frog legs..." --random line of poetry that ThesPrez got in creative writing class that she had to incorprate into an already-written poem (poor ThesPrez...it had been such a good poem too).

nebulia out.

I work from 11 to 7 on sunday. shoot me now.

Molly and Toby are getting bigger. They've lost their little puppy-legs...they don't have that adorably awkward run any more. It's amazing how much bigger they're getting. They're still really, really cute, though.

Had a swim meet today. Went well, I guess. I didn't do so well, though FireflyPickle had her best time ever in the 500. My breast time was pretty nasty, and the idiot!coaches put me in the 400 relay as well, which meant I swam the 100 breast and then turned around and swam 100 free. Being the freak I am, I put my all into my breast, no matter what, and am consequently dead afterward. My 500 breast in the 200 medley was okay, but I won't know my slit until thursday.

And I have a cold. Dammit.

quote of the post: "we are LIKE this. WE are like this. we ARE like this." --zubaida ula, the laramie project

nebulia out.

My mother is pissed. Auntie is pissed. Auntie tells my mother everything I fucking do when I'm alone, and that pisses me off, and this is the last fucking straw!

( on second thought, this is long and full of language and emotion and crap. rant under the cut... )

Swimming this afternoon--time trials still--was interesting. Fun, as always. I did fairly well in 50 breast though the board was screwed up so I'm not sure how well. 200 IM was a laugh, and I think the 100 Free was the slowest 100 Free time that I've ever had timed.

...

I feel rather proud, actually. Which makes me question my sanity. But still.

It was a good afternoon, and a decent evening, until Auntie showed up. Then it went down the drain quickly. Dammit.

quote of the post: "you...fascinate me." --miles massey (george clooney, in real life), intolerable cruelty