bbbbbbbbppppppphhhhtt.
Oct. 20th, 2006 08:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nebuliaConference meet last night.
Crappy.
It was in Ft. Dodge--2 hours away--and at first we thought it was gonna be 6 hours long (that's not bad, but it started at 5, which put us home at 1). But it ended up only lasting about 4, so it was okay. We were home around 11:15, so that was all good. Though I was exhausted on 5 hours of sleep and a scrappy night.
Added 8 seconds to my 500.
But the 100 breast was the worst part of the night, and possibly made yesterday one of the worst days of my life.
Turns out, at the coach's meeting before the meet, they revised the lineup in the 100 breats 'cause they added one girl who was faster than me. So, instead of being in heat 3 lane 8, I was changed to heat 2, lane 4.
Of course, though, they don't give a revised lineup to the swimmers, or the timers, just the coaches. Now, the timerrs are God. The timers should have the most updates lineups, because we, as the swimmers, listen to the timers. Not the announcer, and out coaches aren't necessarily contacting us while we're on the block.
So, when my name is announced, it's s huge shock. Actually, I wasn't paying attention, nor were any of my frineds, because I was a) too busy getting ready for my race, and b) I was confident in the fact that the lineup said I was in heat 3, lane 8, because that was what the timers had.
So all of a sudden, I was being yelled at to get up on the blocks, by my parents and the coaches.
This sudden shock, and some embarrassment, the frustration of my crappy 500 (and the consequential urge to do really well here), and surfing the crimson tide had me tearing up right then.
So all of my friends, you know, Frenchie, GermanPickle, N2T, and a few others are back there, and so they follow me. But just as the guy says take your mark (while I'm still putting on my goggles), they start yelling, "Step down! Step down!" because my name isn't on the timer's sheet.
Of course, as soon as I do that, the coaches are all, "What are you doing?" and I just start sobbing.
As an aside, I hadn't cried like that for a looooooonng time, and I'd never cried like that in public.
So I'm trying not to cry and consequentially hyperventilating, and the coaches are trying to fix it and "it's not your faulting"-me and I'm all, "I don't want an excpetion made 'cause I messed up," and the coaches and Frenchie and GP are all, "But you didn't mess up!" (though I did, a little--I should have been paying attention) and then Head Coach comes over and says, "You're in the next heat. Lane one."
The next heat is the first varsity heat. I was all, "No way."
But Frenchie convinced me to swim, and I did, and I got a 1.32.70-something, and when I finished I started crying all over again.
So the other assistant coach comforted me then (even though I was all wet and she wasn't), and then Frenchie, and then flutist...
And then I had to go and swim the 100 free in the 4x1.
It wasn't the swimming, so much, as a) the humiliation of swimming in a varsity heat when i'm obviously not in varsity, and then the b) humiliation of crying long and hard in public. I mean...it's just embarrassing, you know? You don't like to cry in public. You either get sympathy and all the attention, or you get laughed at. And when I'm crying, I just need someone to sob to, even if they haven't a clue what I'm saying, and that's it. I don't like crying in public.
So yeah. A crappy night.
I was cheering, and trying not to cry and making those gaspy,, sobby, throaty sounds in your throat is really bad for your voice, I learned, and I was already losing my voice, so now I have no voice. But it's a cold--a deep chest cold where I'm coughing up little fuzzy yellow things. And MBF was gone from school today, and she has the same thing, and told me I should go see the doctor, because she had to get a prescription medication for it.
Crap.
but I got Anneliese back, and that almost makes everything okay, you know?
And the conference meet was still fun, in a weird way. It's kind of hard to explain; but, when I wasn't feeling crappy we were telling jokes and swapping dog stories (the dogs are getting REALLY funny, btw, Toby drinks out of our fountain by standing on his hind legs, and Molly gets on the couch, and they both can get on the couches now and they're so silly, but they come when they're called so they're getting better.).
Today we moved creative writing class into the new wing, and I had to carry this giant life-size cactus. I named it Ambrosius and and going to talk to it every day in class now.
and I have anneleise back! Yay!
quote of the post: "remember bob. just remember bob." frenchie has decided that the joke "what do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? bob." fixes everything.
nebulia out.
Crappy.
It was in Ft. Dodge--2 hours away--and at first we thought it was gonna be 6 hours long (that's not bad, but it started at 5, which put us home at 1). But it ended up only lasting about 4, so it was okay. We were home around 11:15, so that was all good. Though I was exhausted on 5 hours of sleep and a scrappy night.
Added 8 seconds to my 500.
But the 100 breast was the worst part of the night, and possibly made yesterday one of the worst days of my life.
Turns out, at the coach's meeting before the meet, they revised the lineup in the 100 breats 'cause they added one girl who was faster than me. So, instead of being in heat 3 lane 8, I was changed to heat 2, lane 4.
Of course, though, they don't give a revised lineup to the swimmers, or the timers, just the coaches. Now, the timerrs are God. The timers should have the most updates lineups, because we, as the swimmers, listen to the timers. Not the announcer, and out coaches aren't necessarily contacting us while we're on the block.
So, when my name is announced, it's s huge shock. Actually, I wasn't paying attention, nor were any of my frineds, because I was a) too busy getting ready for my race, and b) I was confident in the fact that the lineup said I was in heat 3, lane 8, because that was what the timers had.
So all of a sudden, I was being yelled at to get up on the blocks, by my parents and the coaches.
This sudden shock, and some embarrassment, the frustration of my crappy 500 (and the consequential urge to do really well here), and surfing the crimson tide had me tearing up right then.
So all of my friends, you know, Frenchie, GermanPickle, N2T, and a few others are back there, and so they follow me. But just as the guy says take your mark (while I'm still putting on my goggles), they start yelling, "Step down! Step down!" because my name isn't on the timer's sheet.
Of course, as soon as I do that, the coaches are all, "What are you doing?" and I just start sobbing.
As an aside, I hadn't cried like that for a looooooonng time, and I'd never cried like that in public.
So I'm trying not to cry and consequentially hyperventilating, and the coaches are trying to fix it and "it's not your faulting"-me and I'm all, "I don't want an excpetion made 'cause I messed up," and the coaches and Frenchie and GP are all, "But you didn't mess up!" (though I did, a little--I should have been paying attention) and then Head Coach comes over and says, "You're in the next heat. Lane one."
The next heat is the first varsity heat. I was all, "No way."
But Frenchie convinced me to swim, and I did, and I got a 1.32.70-something, and when I finished I started crying all over again.
So the other assistant coach comforted me then (even though I was all wet and she wasn't), and then Frenchie, and then flutist...
And then I had to go and swim the 100 free in the 4x1.
It wasn't the swimming, so much, as a) the humiliation of swimming in a varsity heat when i'm obviously not in varsity, and then the b) humiliation of crying long and hard in public. I mean...it's just embarrassing, you know? You don't like to cry in public. You either get sympathy and all the attention, or you get laughed at. And when I'm crying, I just need someone to sob to, even if they haven't a clue what I'm saying, and that's it. I don't like crying in public.
So yeah. A crappy night.
I was cheering, and trying not to cry and making those gaspy,, sobby, throaty sounds in your throat is really bad for your voice, I learned, and I was already losing my voice, so now I have no voice. But it's a cold--a deep chest cold where I'm coughing up little fuzzy yellow things. And MBF was gone from school today, and she has the same thing, and told me I should go see the doctor, because she had to get a prescription medication for it.
Crap.
but I got Anneliese back, and that almost makes everything okay, you know?
And the conference meet was still fun, in a weird way. It's kind of hard to explain; but, when I wasn't feeling crappy we were telling jokes and swapping dog stories (the dogs are getting REALLY funny, btw, Toby drinks out of our fountain by standing on his hind legs, and Molly gets on the couch, and they both can get on the couches now and they're so silly, but they come when they're called so they're getting better.).
Today we moved creative writing class into the new wing, and I had to carry this giant life-size cactus. I named it Ambrosius and and going to talk to it every day in class now.
and I have anneleise back! Yay!
quote of the post: "remember bob. just remember bob." frenchie has decided that the joke "what do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? bob." fixes everything.
nebulia out.
