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Curiouser and curiouser
Apr. 25th, 2007 10:53 pmTonoght at play practice I had a huge fight with a girl I've known since seventh grade. I've never really liked her, though most of the time I've been mildly friendly towards her, even though I think she's a self-righteous kind of girl and she dresses far too risque for her size--it's not that she's fat, but she's tall and has some meat on her and is really sort of pretty, but...she shouldn't be wearing skirts that short. So, more like she needs to stop deluding herself and wear a size bigger.
But I digress. My problem with her is not her fashion sense. It's the fact that she's a self-rightwous bitch. But she's friends with a lot of my friends, so I was always friendly with her anyway.
But tonight we had a huge fight--it's been building up, and I've always just kind of rolled my eyes when she would tell me to shut up in US history or whatever--getting angry over it takes to much energy and makes me the bad person (though sometimes I did interrupt her because I'm a little self-righteous too, sometimes, and I thought she didn't know what she was talking about--she's not the only one at fault)--and...thought the amount of emotion it took was huge and if one of my other friends hadn't been there I'd have backhanded her...so I was in tears after I left (Thank God I didn't cry in front of her).
But now...and even after I stopped crying, I feel really liberated. I don't have to be nice to her anymore, and I don't feel bad about not really forgiving her or anything. During our arguement, she cited being sick and on her period as a "Don't fuck with me" kind of thing, and I told her I didn't give a flying fuck because your period comes once a fucking month and no one else gets a break when they're sick, so deal with it (which is totally true--I'm never going to back down from that). But anyway, I don't feel bad about it, and she was avoiding me but I'm definitely not caring, and I'm serious. I don't care. I didn't skirt to the other side of the hall when I walked past her, I didn't leave the room just after I walked in because she was there, and apparently a lot of our mutual friends in drama were kind of expecting it, because they're okay with it. Even her best friend, who, oddly enough, I really trust, was cool with it, and understood my point of view.
So I feel happier than I have in a long time. Because, I think, now I don't have to pretend. And that's very, very good.
In other news, it wonderfully rained all day today and I'm exhausted because of 6-7 hour play practices each night, but whatev. It's almost over, and I like drama anyway.
nebulia out.
But I digress. My problem with her is not her fashion sense. It's the fact that she's a self-rightwous bitch. But she's friends with a lot of my friends, so I was always friendly with her anyway.
But tonight we had a huge fight--it's been building up, and I've always just kind of rolled my eyes when she would tell me to shut up in US history or whatever--getting angry over it takes to much energy and makes me the bad person (though sometimes I did interrupt her because I'm a little self-righteous too, sometimes, and I thought she didn't know what she was talking about--she's not the only one at fault)--and...thought the amount of emotion it took was huge and if one of my other friends hadn't been there I'd have backhanded her...so I was in tears after I left (Thank God I didn't cry in front of her).
But now...and even after I stopped crying, I feel really liberated. I don't have to be nice to her anymore, and I don't feel bad about not really forgiving her or anything. During our arguement, she cited being sick and on her period as a "Don't fuck with me" kind of thing, and I told her I didn't give a flying fuck because your period comes once a fucking month and no one else gets a break when they're sick, so deal with it (which is totally true--I'm never going to back down from that). But anyway, I don't feel bad about it, and she was avoiding me but I'm definitely not caring, and I'm serious. I don't care. I didn't skirt to the other side of the hall when I walked past her, I didn't leave the room just after I walked in because she was there, and apparently a lot of our mutual friends in drama were kind of expecting it, because they're okay with it. Even her best friend, who, oddly enough, I really trust, was cool with it, and understood my point of view.
So I feel happier than I have in a long time. Because, I think, now I don't have to pretend. And that's very, very good.
In other news, it wonderfully rained all day today and I'm exhausted because of 6-7 hour play practices each night, but whatev. It's almost over, and I like drama anyway.
nebulia out.
