Sometimes you're the windsheild, sometimes you're the bug.

Today I had two packages of Grasshopper cookies before 4:00 and since then even thinking of food makes me sick to my stomach.

The cookies were definitely emotional binge eating; I recoignized it even before CT told me I did it. But the sudden lack of eating makes me kinda worried.

I feel awful, but not sick-awful. I'm just tired and not hungry and I feel like shit, but it's like my mental feeling-like-shit manifested physically, which made me think of being depressed.

Which is ridiculous. Yeah, my mom and I don't get along all the time, and Dad and I are even worse, but I am a upper-middle-class, academically well-off, well-fed, suburban, white, mostly well-adjusted teenage girl. Yeah, I'm overweight, and yeah, I'm antisocial, but I alienated myself, whether on purpose of by sticking my own foot in my mouth. I have all the friends I need, I have a passion, I am perfectly happy with my spiritual wellbeing (or, I have religion and it doesn't bother me) I ought to be perfectly well-off.

And suddenly, I'm miserable.

I don't need this. My life doesn't suck, but I feel like it does.

Grr.

nebulia out.