churchness

nursery this morning. walked up to church...it's chilly and cloudy, but not too windy. have to go back at 10:45 for practice.

don't read if religion bothers you:

have felt better recently about God. like...here. I believe in Him, but most of the time, he doesn't have a huge impact on my life, at least not overtly. i mean, i'm probably what you would call a loose Christian: I believe in God. I believe Jesus died for our sins and rose from the dead.

But.

the Bible? is iffy. People aren't perfect, you know. A lot of the time I wonder if what the Bible says is really so. This is what I think: God is love. If you believe in true love--not necessarily romantic love, but true love, then, in a way, you believe in God, a little bit. God loves everyone, homosexuals, murderers, prostitutes, whatever. God loves them all. i don't know if they truly are condemned as the Bible says, but he loves them. I like to think that if those who the Bible condemns believe in Him, they go to heaven regardless.

Or, as my pastor once said in a youth group discussion of fundamentalism: "And maybe, when we die, and we get to heaven, God will tell us, 'You know those guys who wrote the Bible? Yeah, they were quacks, and there really isn't a hell. It's just a big empty space and I'm turning it into an amusemnet park!'"

I don't know how God created the world. I don't care if he had people evolve or whatever. He did. It's here. I don't care what God does with others. He is just and fair, I know that, and he will make the right decision. All I know is that I believe in him, and I think that's enough. I'm not perfect. I cuss all the time, and I have more moments than not where I'm probably not thinking in a Christ-like manner, but God loves me nonetheless, and I'm glad for that.

Anyway. Theological dscussion over.

So. but usually i feel pretty distanced from God. but recently--and i don't know if it's the fact that i've been reading Christian fiction some (but the good Christian fiction--the ones that are actually realistic--are soooo expensive; worse than manga, really!), or listening to the Newsboys, or just if i'm thinking about it more and trying to cut down on taking God's name in vain, but i've felt a lot closer to Him.

I guess it's a good thing. I like it. it gives me a sense of security.

so. religious discussion over. totally. for real this time.

i've had this story in my head for a while...it's stuck there, and it would be about kaoru's life pre-rk. like an epic character exercise. like from birth to "stop hitokiri battousai!" literally. and i think that's what i really will be working on, along with nanowrimo. so yay.

um. anyway. i have a crapload of homeowrk and a drain to clean out, so i'll go.

quote of the post: "awww! this is the best love story ever!" five minutes later: "waah! this is the worst story ever!" --fizzle, on watching mulan ii (pre-shang falling off the cliff; post-chang falling off the cliff).

nebulia out.

*is seriously freaked out*

Just got back from The Rat Pack: Live from the Sands at the Civic Center. Basically it recreates a night with Frank Sinatra, Sammy Davis, Jr., and Dean Martin from when they had a show at the Sands in Vegas.

Oh.

My.

Stars.

The man playing Frank--Chris Mann--sounded and acted exactly like the real thing. By the end you couldn't belieive it wasn't Frank. It was really, really eerie, in an awesome way.

I'm not as familiar with Sammy Davis, Jr., but my parents say his actor was even closer to Davis than Mann was to Frank, which is terrifying. The guy playing Dean Martin didn't sound like Martin as much as the others sounded like their counterparts, but he had his actions down pat. That was eerie, too.

But it was excellent. Really excellent. I had a great time.

nebulia out.